


And In The Cold Cruel Light Of Day

by DilynAliceBlake



Series: Dark Humor [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-05 21:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12802311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DilynAliceBlake/pseuds/DilynAliceBlake
Summary: To be in sync to that degree, almost reading each other's minds.... It never should have happened with him.





	1. Fact and Myth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [somethingscarlet13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingscarlet13/gifts).



   Batman and the Joker fought. It was one of those indisputable facts of life in Gotham, like 'the trains are crowded,' and 'the air's not clear.'  When the Joker was up to something wild and viscous, a shadow would be there to stop him.

\---

   Back before the Batman was such a known figure, he began as a folk tale. A rumor or myth no one put their trust in, but everybody wondered about. Dark Humor started the same way.  A myth shrouded in fear that even those who caught glimpses of him didn't quite believe in.


	2. Lights, Camera, Action!

   Many liked to believe that daytime was barren of villainous plots and caped crusaders, but where one is the other must follow, and evil never rests.

   So it was that one dreary chill day in Gotham the Joker rolled out a scheme.

   "Why are we doin' this so early, Boss?" asked a lackey who really ought to learn his place.

   "So people can see it on their lunch breaks.  I'm being _considerate_ , Joe."

   "My name's not-"

   One of the other thugs was kind enough to drag Not-Joe away before he got himself killed.  Okay, it wasn't kindness. This just wasn't the sort of plan that would go well if they were a hand short, and last minute recruitment was a pain in the ass.

   "It's showtime folks!" declared a gleeful Joker.  Today would be buckets of fun.


	3. Cue Vigilante

   Bruce Wayne kept a TV in his boardroom on the back wall constantly set to the local news.  When he was feigning absent mindedness during meetings, he was actually keeping careful watch of his phone alerts and the subtitles gliding across the screen.

  When the explosion went off, he stopped spinning the pen in front of him and stood.

   "I've got a lunch date with a cute physicist; we'll continue this tomorrow."  No one ever waited up when Bruce Wayne had a date.  It was very much like his persona to just spring that on his company's workers last minute.  The way he sped downtown soon after, however, was all Batman.

   "I'm en route now," he affirmed into the mic of his cowl, reassuring his family that he was up to date on the situation and on his way to handle it.  "I'll try to be home for dinner."

   "Very good, sir," came Alfred's crisp response, and then he was there.


	4. Scrap The Script-- This Calls For Improv

   "Bats!" exclaimed the Joker, looking for all the world as if he were surprised by the man's presence. "It's not what it looks like!"

   The clown had both hands on an old fashioned push detonator, and Batman didn't doubt that there was another bomb awaiting the Joker's twisted whim.

\---

  Everything was going smooth, and right on schedule, down to the Batman's stern scowl and the batarang flying towards his face.  After tumbling backwards with proper fanfare, the Joker was yanked up by his shirt collar and punched quite promptly in the jaw.

   "I think you cracked a toothhh," he said, emphasizing for an almost lisp.

   "Youve got the monopoly on cracking jokes," Batman growled reflexively, and in the end, it was probably the uncharacteristic show of humor that did it.

   There was a brief moment's pause before they each realized what he'd said.

  Then, for a second, all either of them was aware of was warmth and a dizzying light.


	5. Two Halves; One Whole

   There was a strange (familiar?) urge to laugh tickling the back of his throat, and a twisting in his gut that might have been joy, or might have been disgust. This was horrifying- delightful!- wrong- perfect-

   His head ached like it was splitting in two, and then he was splitting in two. The Batman and the Joker faced each other once again.

 

\---

 

   Tatta tat thrum, went his heartbeat. He breathed in his first breath, and the whole world was sharp and crystal clear. His thoughts were at war, but his veins rang with giddy eagerness to continue to be.

   He had a purpose. It was on the tip of his tongue. Something had washed the anarchy away in a fit of focuse, and the ever heavy guilt of a thousand not quite fast enoughs was gone.

   There was only himself, less broken than he'd ever been, and aching to chase and fight and own the night. Then the world spun and he was no more.


	6. Denial

   Batman headed towards his Cave's computer; prowling across stone, growling to himself, and scowling at the indecency of it all.

   "You look flustered," remarked Tim.

   Bruce levelled a glare that quite clearly said 'I don't  _get_ flustered.  I'm Batman.'  Tim didn't buy it.

   "I need to do some research." Batman stated flatly.  That was in no way code for 'I am overwhelmed by the situation and scrambling not to show it.'  The text across the screens in front of him seemed to purposefully mock him.  Phrases like "synchronized wavelengths" and "compatable personalities" jumped to his attention.  Bruce's teeth ground in frustration.

   "Woah!" exclaimed Tim from where he was reading over the Bat's shoulder, "Did you fight a fusion?!"

   If possible, Bruce's posture stiffened more.

   "Oh, oh dude!  No. Way." 


	7. the bird crows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bish i edited this  
> i never edit

   "Who'd you fuse with?"

   Bruce stayed silent, as if that could possibly discourage Tim once he'd made up his mind to pester him.

   "Was it Gordon?  Commissioner Batman doesn't really roll of the tongue, does it?"

   "It wasn't--"

   "Twoface!" Tim exclaimed suddenly, and a second later, in an exaggerated growl "Half-Man!"

   Bruce was beginning to see where this was going.

   "Riddler?  You both go gaga over puzzles.  That one's almost scary.  There's a detective who doesn't know when to stop.  Ooh, the Inquisitor!"

   "It isn't going to happen again, so it doesn't need a name," Bruce said flatly, with absolutely no regret niggling at the back of his mind."

  "Oh come on!" Tim argued.  "The Inquisitor was a good one!  He's totally the type of guy who knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop."

   Bruce mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like a number, which sent Tim off guffawing.  At least his current mirth kept him from making Bruce's headache worse via more ridiculous name suggestions.


	8. usually the brooding is left to the bats

   The Joker is shocked speechless.  For days he sits and stews, uttering not so much as a giggle.  He's half convinced that he imagined the whole thing, except that even his wildest fantasies were never so... _hopeful_.

   He's had enough wishful daydreams and downright hallucinations not to write this of as a delusion.  And, well, if he is off somewhere fever dreaming all this, the whole city will regret it when he wakes.

   With that settled, his mind turns to the obvious dilemma.  How to make it happen again.  If Joker could somehow manage to make the fusion stick, his Bats would never escape his clutches.

   'No more dumping me off in Arkham,' he muses.  'No more ignoring all my best jokes.  No more denying that we're  _meant_ to  _be_.'

   A grin creeps across his face, and Joker's week of brooding comes to it's end.

   "Batsy baby, we're perfect for each other, and the whole world can know it."


	9. and so he was

   In the end, fusing again is a lot easier than Joker expected.  He's all poised for a big ultimatum, hostages crying and deadly factory machinery glistening in the moonlight, when Batman holds out one gloved hand and manages to somehow _imply_ a smirk.

   "I- what, really?" Joker asks incredulously, because he hasn't even gotten to the part with the banana peels yet.

   Batman starts to pull his hand back, and the Joker scrambles in a panic away from the lever he's strained at.

   "Don't you dare!" he snarls, and practically tackles Batman in his eagerness.  There is warmth and light, and between one blink and the next the two are fused.


	10. Chapter 10

   The first decision that they ever make together, and so the first decision that he as himself makes, is that the hostages are now entirely useless and should be let go to go lead their boring background character lives.

   "Shoo," he half growls at them.  They stare, shakey and freshly untied and petrified.  "Before something  _bad_ happens," he warns, but it comes out with Joker's trademark lilt, and its possible the civilians take it as a threat.

Based on how they positively scurry away, they definitely took it as a threat.

   No one is dead, or even seriously hurt, so he can see the humor in them freaking out like that, and it makes him laugh.

   "You got what you wanted," comes Batman's growl out of their shared body, and the fusion sort of pouts as it tries and fails to undo itself.


	11. Chapter 11

   At first, the Batman half thinks that he just need some more time together like this to get it out of his system before they can separate.  Surely it won't take long before something drives a wedge between them.

   The longer they're fused, however, the less Batman-half Joker-half define themselves, and the more this new self exists somewhere inbetween.

   'It's time to go home,' he decides, because it's been two days and is looking like it will be longer.  Somehow that possibility only makes him happy.

   The occasional updates he growled into his no-longer-quite-a-cowl have kept off any search parties from the Bat Fam, but his Batman impression was losing its believability.  He doesn't bother to call in that he's heading home.  Explanations will have to be done in person.

   He smiles down at the mostly-intact criminal he's just deposited atop a parked police cruiser.  "I'm looking forward to seeing you again," he threatens, before heading off to the batmobile for a high speed high adrenaline drive home.


	12. Chapter 12

   "Is that him?" Tim asks, though it's clearly rhetorical.  The yet-unnamed fusion lets his mouth tick up in a shallow smile.

   "I'm him," he says, and gives a fluorishing cape-over-arm introductory bow.

   Tim springs forward for a closer look, only to freeze a few feet out of swinging range.  There's a sudden apprehension on his face, and the fusion lets out a soft giggle of nerves.

   "Are you, uh, safe?" the teen asks.

   He rolls his shoulders in response, half a thinking gesture an  half a shrug.

   "I'll just," Tim swallows "stay back here then."

   The fusion gives a swift approving nod.  He doesn't want to come apart, and until more is known about who he is exactly, it's best to be extra cautious in keeping Bruce's family safe.

   Jay knows that if anything would force a sudden split, it would be the impulse to fell a birdy, and he's happy where he  _is,_ thanks.

   Distantly, Batman is approving of this reluctance to go after his family.

   In the forefront, the fusion notices Alfred walk in with a skillet in one oven mitted hand and a gun held steadily in the other.


	13. Chapter 13

   "State your business," Alfred commands in his no nonsense way.  Masked hooligans of Gotham are never good news.

   "No, Alfred, that's Bruce," Tim insists, trying to get the butler to lower the gun.  Alfred is affronted at both the suggestion and the insult to his intelligence.

   "It is most certainly  _not_ ," he huffs, because everything from the man's build to his posture is wrong.

   "Well, I mean, it's  _half_ him.  Meet Dark Humor!"

   "That is not our name," comes Bruce's growl, immediately followed cheerily by an "I like it!"

   For a moment, the form glows and wavers before resettling.

   "It's...fitting," a deep, lilting voice concedes.  Alfred whacks him with the frying pan.


End file.
